


Gasoline

by blackcanary94



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clarke is adorable, Drug Use, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Lexa is all dark and mysterious, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcanary94/pseuds/blackcanary94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a struggling artist, and Lexa is a model with a minor drug problem. Clarke plays the hero and Lexa models nude for her fine arts class. Deep, gritty, with humor, and semi-slowburn Clexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mystery Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Completely and utterly new to writing Clexa guys, so be gentle with me! Nah I'm kidding, brutal honesty is always best - so if you don't like something, or you see any mistakes, just let me know! 
> 
> It will start out a little light hearted, then delve into the deeper stuff, but I'll always try to keep it somewhat at ease, it'll never get too dark, I promise. There will be a lot of fluff, and a lot of angst - which I'm sure you guys are just gonna love. 
> 
> Name of the first chapter is so cliche right? I'm workin on it.

The night air was a cool breeze wafting through muggy heat, the sky a dark, blank canvas over the city of D.C, masking the shady shifting of its nightly residents whom only seemed to appear as the sun said its farewells. D.C was a seemingly respectable place; with it being the nations capital it was dripping with political hierarchy, scandal, and rumours – depending on how you’d define ‘respectable’, that is. And with all glamorous cities, came the doom and gloom.

 For Clarke, the doom and gloom meant working 30 hour unpaid weeks in order to maybe, just maybe get commission for one of her newest pieces. She originally thought that staying in D.C was in her best interest – she could stay close to her family, her friends, all whilst working at the National Gallery of Art in the Visitors Service department – not exactly what she’d hoped for, but it was paying the bills, and she’d be surrounded by art for her paid working hours, so she couldn’t really complain.

 One thing she did despise, however, was finishing awfully late after a late evening showcase at the gallery. It was now nearly 12:30 in the morning, and Clarke was succumbed to walking home, as she had let Octavia borrow her car to visit one of her clients earlier that day. She contemplated pulling out her phone and begging the girl to come pick her up, but she had been lacking motivation recently, and thought the walk home would provide her with some sort of scenic muse, something to grab her attention.

 “Go. Away” She heard someone growl under their breath in the near distance, causing her to break from her dazed stupor. That certainly grabbed her attention.

 “What? C’mon, don’t be like that!” This time she heard a deeper, more masculine voice reiterate, slightly slurred. Clarke scanned the dimmed streets trying to find the source of the voices, to no avail.

“Get off me!” Clarke’s eyes widened in realisation of what could possibly be happening just mere feet from her, trying harder to pinpoint the voices bouncing from lamppost to lamppost. Her hero complex kicking in – the want, the insatiable need to help. After a few moments the road she had decided to follow came to a close and edged off into an alley just outside a bar – she witnessed two figures in the distance. The first, a slim female figure, with long dark hair; and a male, taller, and much bulkier.

 

She froze in her tracks for a moment.

 

What am _I_ supposed to do?

Before she has another moment to contemplate her thoughts or actions, the guy in the shadows reaches out, grabbing the girls’ shoulder and turns her around in one rough, ragged movement.

“Hey!” Before Clarke can register her own actions, her feet are hurrying towards the scene before her, heat bubbling up in anger, clouding her judgement and fuelling her with adrenaline. “She told you to get off” She asserts, mentally applauding herself for the sheer amount of authority wafting off her.

The guy dropped his hold on the woman in front of him and turned around to face the blonde, his face riddled with annoyance. As he stepped closer to Clarke, she could smell the stench of alcohol seeping from his pores, it crept up her airways, causing a wrenching nausea to erupt at the pit of her stomach, and her heart to palpitate in fear of what was to come next.

She suddenly exhaled a sharp breath, one she didn’t realise she had even been holding as the guy simply grunted and pushed past her, causing her to stumble a little into the wall as he passed. A wave of relief coursing through her veins, as she immediately understands that could have ended a lot worse. Giving herself mere seconds to recompose, she looks up to find the other figure in the shadows just gazing at her in what Clarke could only describe as disbelief. Her green eyes look to be radiating with gratitude, only to be overshadowed by something she couldn’t quite put her finger on… anger?

“What was that? You could have gotten hurt; you don’t even know me, would you really risk your life for that of a stranger?” The female figure under the flickering streetlamp all but seethed in disbelief.

She could feel her face contort in annoyance, confusion, and utter shock, her voice coming out a lot angrier than she had intended. “Excuse me? I just saved you, who knows what that guy could have done!”

“My point exactly. I can take care of myself” A now calm and collected voice countered. The streetlight flickered to a halt, shining down onto the mystery woman, radiating her features as clear as day. Instead of biting back with something just as sassy, Clarke was a little taken aback by the sheer beauty before her; dark green eyes, so full of mystery, full pink lips, a chiselled jaw, slender nose. Yet there was something so familiar about this woman.

Before Clarke even realised she had been staring, the woman gave a roll of her eyes before turning swiftly and continuing her walk down the alley, presumably on her way home. “You’re welcome” Clarke yelled sarcastically at her retreating figure.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Princess, still running on an adrenaline high from your heroic save last night?” Raven asks, placing a hand over her heart in a mock dramatic act. “But seriously, what the fuck, you could have been hurt, not that I care, I mean I’d still have Octavia, but still.” She all but deadpanned.

After Clarke had returned home last night, she couldn’t help waking her roommates to tell them what had just happened, completely disregarding their need for sleep at 01:00 in the morning.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Is no one thankful anymore?”

Raven gave a half shrug in response.

“Whatever. I’m a hero, you’re not, get over it Rae.” Clarke said, finally lightening up over the situation. “I still can’t figure it out though…”

She could tell Raven was fighting the urge to let her eyes roll into the back of her head; Raven knew Clarke, better than anybody (except Octavia, just maybe), and she knew that she’d be hearing about this act of heroism for the next couple months, maybe even years.

Without letting Raven respond, she continued her inner monologue aloud. “I feel like I’ve seen her before, or I know her, or at least met her…” And as if on queue, a light went off, and something sparked a revelation. Jumping up off the couch of their three-bedroom apartment, she darted towards the crappy bookcase by the TV stand, pulling out their year-book, frantically scanning the pages hoping to find those deep green eyes printed onto a glossy page.

Nothing.

She then grabbed Lincoln’s yearbook. Lincoln had been living with the three girls for just under a year officially, he had been living there unofficially since the girls moved in for college nearly four years ago, due to his and Octavia’s insatiable need to be together all the time. He was 2 school years above the girls, and there was no harm in trying his year-book as well.

“Oh. My. God. Clarke, just let it go. So she didn’t say thank you or give you a freakin’ hug, or even her number. Who ca—“ Raven began, but was soon cut off with Clarke holding the book up for her to see.

“I’ve found her!” She exclaimed, putting the book down onto the coffee table in front of them to examine closer. “Alexandria Woods. Photography Club. Track Team. Cheerleading.” She listed off her school involvements one by one, looking up at Raven with a smug smirk plastered across her lips, an ‘I told you so’ look just radiating from her.

The door to the apartment slammed shut, both girls not bothering to turn around, already knowing it was Octavia back from training a morning client at the gym. “What are you both looking at our year book for?” She asked, dropping her bag by the door and dropping onto the floor beside Clarke, ready to join in on whatever they were doing.

Raven had the book now, flicking through the Cheer Team pictures, raising a brow impressed with the scantily clad athletes, seemingly impressed with the amount of skin showing. “Clarke here was just stalking the girl she saved from being stalked.”

“So you finally found her?” Octavia asked, grinning. Clarke was glad at least one of her friends was taking the situation a little more serious. “Which one is she?” She reached up for the book, snatching it from Raven’s hands.

“Hottie with the body” Raven interjected. “Curly hair, green eyes, uh-mazing lips”

Octavia couldn’t help but laugh, Raven could act as gay as Clarke at times despite feigning their attempts at getting her to admit the truth – that she was in fact interested in girls, too. Clarke pointed at her picture, drawing a look of realisation to dawn Octavia’s features. “Oh that’s Lexa” She said with such nonchalance, which only seemed to surge Clarke’s intrigue and curiosity. Something, which Octavia knew, would eat away at Clarke unless answered. “I was on the cheer squad with her, she was a senior when we were juniors. Same grade as Linc. I think they still hang out sometimes.”

The blonde simply nodded at this newfound information, but her previous intrigue had been replaced with a new round of questions.

“Hey Clarke…” Octavia pulled her from her thoughts, reading aloud from the book. “Says here she was due to attend Georgetown that fall on an Arts programme. You guys didn’t take any classes together?”

More questions, but this time she had answers.

“No? At least I don’t think so, I don’t remember” Her features were replaced with a look of confusion, more confusion, from more unanswered questions.

Octavia shrugged, jumping up off the carpet with enthusiasm, endorphins rushing through her system from training this morning and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, leaving the two girls to swoon over pictures of Clarke’s now not so mystery woman. Smirking to herself, she popped her head back into the living room, remembering something. “Oh, and guys? She’s a model by the way”

The two girls seated on the sofa swiftly pulled out their phones and opened up google in record speed, as if in competition to see who could search ‘Alexandria Wood’s the fastest. Octavia was right she was indeed a model. She wasn't huge, per say, just a local portrait model who worked in conjunction with a few galleries and colleges in D.C and its surrounding areas, but she was still a model. A model whom Raven and Clarke spent most of the morning stalking on social media. 

* * *

 

A few weeks had passed since Clarke’s heroic alley incident, and Raven had decided to throw a girls night, as the boys had taken up the apartment for a Halo marathon, and while they all enjoyed playing Xbox, they didn’t enjoy Jasper’s whining, or Bellamy being a sore loser. There had been a new bar opening a couple weeks back called Arcadia, it was a little pretentious and was very posed, which she figured Clarke would absolutely _love_.

Two rum and cokes, one jagerbomb, and two tequila shots later; Clarke was a little more than tipsy, and Octavia insisted on her buying the next round of drinks, as she hadn’t gone to the bar all night.

“Fine, fine” She surrendered, holding her hands up as she walked around them both and out of the booth. “It’s not like I’m the struggling artist here… Oh wait”

Raven shooed her to the bar. “Yeah yeah, and I’m a struggling alcoholic here with no alcohol, go” This caused a bubble of laughter to erupt from Octavia seated beside them. All three girls were pretty drunk at this point, past the point of caring, divulged into the realm of fuzzy warmth, and liquid confidence. It was a good feeling - a great feeling.

As soon as she stood, Clarke could almost feel the alcohol slide from her stomach and into her bladder, causing an uncomfortable need to pee. She reasoned her friends could wait a little longer for drinks if she made a quick trip to the bathroom first. Her footing was unsteady as a result from the shots they had done not too long ago, and her vision slightly blurred. Within seconds on her bathroom quest she felt herself crash into someone, sending them both crashing to the wooden floor.

“Ouch!” Clarke drunkenly threw her head back, exaggerating her pain and the situation entirely.

She heard a sigh and a shuffle of movement before she noticed a shadow now forecast above her. “Drama Queen. Are you getting up any time today?” She knew that voice, her eyes snapped up from the ground to meet deep green, half expecting an apology, half expecting her to thank Clarke for helping her weeks ago.

Nothing.

Lexa.

She was pleasantly surprised however when Lexa extended a hand to help her up, pulling her up in one swift movement. Clarke, however, in her drunken state, and on her never-ending mission for answers, couldn’t leave it at that.

“Thank. You.” She said slowly, attempting to over- annunciate her words in her drunken state, hoping to make the other girl feel somewhat guilty. She received no response, which only riled Clarke even more. “No sorry? No thank you?”

Lexa merely rolled her eyes before disappearing into the sea of people, disappearing again.

Clarke huffed before heading over to the bar, completely forgetting where she was headed. “Could I have one vodka lemonade, wait… no two vodka lemonade’s… or was it three?” Clarke wracked her brain, her eyes focused on her hands as she counted on her fingers trying to remember what the other girls ordered, finding it hard to pull the memory from her clouded thoughts.

“Sometime today would be nice” That familiar voice echoed in Clarke’s ears again, that familiar, displeased, seemingly uninterested voice Clarke had been intrigued by weeks ago.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, animatedly pointing a finger at Lexa who was stood behind the bar, serving drinks. Clarke knew the answer to that, but couldn’t bring her hazy mind to answer her own questions.

Another roll of her eyes. “I work here. Three vodka lemonade’s?” Lexa asked, starting to make the drinks before waiting for Clarke’s response.

Clarke’s brow furrowed into confusion. _Why would a model be working in a bar?_ “But you’re too pretty to work here” She asked her question without even asking it at all.

“So I’ve been told” She was most definitely disinterested in the compliment.

“Well has anyone ever told you that your eyes are very green? They’re so deep they could hold secrets, they’re so green like the ocean, I would very much like to paint them” Clarke was rambling. She did this when drunk – shamelessly flirt with people without any inhibition. Her rambling came to a halt when she saw the brunette’s unfaltering expression – no smile, not even a tiny hope of one. “I would also like to see you smile”

Lexa’s cold gaze and pouty lips stayed in place, not letting her resting bitch face falter, re-building her walls. “You’re drunk”

“No, silly. I’m Clarke” She began to laugh at the mistake she thought Lexa had made before realizing what she had actually said, heat creeping up and dusting her cheeks pink.

Lexa found it difficult to keep a straight face at that, letting her walls down and laughing ever so lightly. “I’m Lexa”

Clarke’s laugh turned into a grin. “I know…” Her eyes widened ever so slightly, realizing she probably sounded like a creep, before taking the drinks from the bar and replacing them with a 20$. “I mean, I’ve gotta go!”

She drunkenly stumbled back over to the booth to find Raven and Octavia, all too excited to tell them who she just bumped into, quite literally.

 


	2. Point of Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her response only flared a smirk to spread across the models plump lips, lips which Clarke’s eyes lingered on momentarily. “Do you not find my body appealing, Clarke?” 
> 
> Lexa is naked, Clarke must find a focus point for the task at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the Clexa interaction commence! Flirty Lexa appears. The mystery girl's mystery is basically water, and Clarke's thirst has no chill.

The next day Clarke had woken to quite possibly the worst hangover imaginable. The sun shone through her bedroom blinds, like lightening daggers piercing her sight with a sharpening force. She groaned externally, sitting up abruptly to grab water and some Advil – the movement, however, was met with a retching nausea erupting at the pit of her stomach. She made her way to the kitchen, bed hair on full display – her blonde tresses sticking out and ruffled across her face as she attempted to rub the sleep, and the hangover from her eyes.

 “GOOD MORNING PRINCESS” Raven all but yelled, the somewhat sadistic humor seeping from her voice at how she watched Clarke flinch at the sound.

Clarke shot her daggers from across the kitchen. “Inside voices” It sounded more like a command than a request, one which was soon forgotten as a steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of her on the kitchen counter - courtesy of Raven.

Hopping up to take a seat on the counter, legs dangling back and forth beside the blonde, Raven assumed her role as annoying roommate. “So…” She began, drawling out the words as she pulled out her phone to check the time.

The blonde was in no mood for Raven’s games, not with this hangover, and not at this time of the morning. “Do you mind?” She asked, taking a sip of her coffee, a content sigh slipping from her lips in the process. “I’m trying to be hungover in peace.

“Well, then you better take that coffee to-go, cause’ you’re gonna be late for your fine arts class… Which starts in thirty minutes.” The brunette watched in amusement as terror flickered across Clarke’s features – she was never one to be late, Raven was pretty sure Clarke had never arrived late to anything.

“You better run boozy, sweat out all the vodka!”

Clarke rolled her eyes before taking another sip of her coffee. “I have enough with Octavia trying to get me to run, not you too.” She deadpanned. There were many downsides to having a personal trainer as your roommate: the two main ones; being chastised for eating pizza, and being told you’ll die of coronary heart disease if she didn’t get her ass off the sofa and go for a jog once in a while. Although, that didn’t stop the two girls eating pizza while Octavia was out of the house, and practically inhaling an entire carton of ice cream whenever they got the chance.

* * *

Clarke had made it to class just on time, a sigh of relief escaping her pink lips as she stepped into the art studio noticing that not even half the class had arrived yet.

She was currently studying for her masters in fine arts; she knew she was good, great, amazing in fact, at what she did, but she knew she could do better, she knew she could be better. So, upon graduating from college, she had decided to further her studies with a post-graduate course – this meant only three classes per week, and a hell of a lot of studying, essay writing, and practical work in between. Not that she minded, she knew she wouldn’t rather be doing anything else – this is what she wanted in life, and she was striving for greatness, doing anything she could in order to achieve that.

Her Thursday morning portrait class was her favorite, by far. Disregarding the fact that she got to spent the good part of an hour staring at the beautifully attractive models that stood naked in front of her for the sole purpose of drawing them. There was something so fascinating Clarke found about the human body – how their skin told a thousand different stories; the markings on their skin mapped out as constellations like stars in the night sky, how not one person held the same bone structure, or skin texture. Not one person was the same, in any way, and Clarke found solace in that fact.

As she began taking out her supplies, from the corner of her eye she saw this weeks model walk to the center of the room in a white robe. She took no more notice as she readied her easel – unlike the majority of the people in her class, who swooned and downright ogled the weekly models, Clarke saw them as nothing but works of art, not a sexual fantasy right before her eyes. She pulled out her phone, switching it off before placing it beside her easel – not wanting any distractions.

“Okay class, today’s assignment is focus: I would like each of you to focus on one body part, this could be anything from the models nose, her abdomen, to something a little more… intimate”

A few of the guys in her class childishly high fived at that last part, Clarke couldn’t help but smirk as professor Kane was about to receive about fifteen portraits of boobs after the next hour. You can turn a boy into a man, but you can’t take the boy out of a man.

“You may begin. You all have exactly one hour to complete this task, and not a minute more” Professor Kane then walked over to his desk towards the far end of the class, leaving the model at the center of attention.

Clarke finally looked up from her stack of supplies, deciding that she’d go with a simple approach – led. Sketching was always easiest to her, and with her blinding hangover, she was in no mood to endure the stench of chemicals from the paints. As she looked up, her blue eyes were met with green, both instantaneously widened in realization.

Today’s model was no other than Alexandria Woods.

The blonde suddenly felt her face alight; she knew there was absolutely no way of hiding the blush, which had now surely taken over her features. For the first time in her artistic career, Clarke was afraid to look at the model, _really_ look at the model. Whilst the rest of her class were already fast at work – eyes scanning her beautifully nude body for a focus point, Clarke found her gaze lingering on a deep green. She wasn’t sure whether her eyes were glued to green due to the fact that Lexa was still holding her gaze, or because she couldn’t find it in herself to actually look down, to find a focus point other than her eyes.

There was no point in denying it, Clarke was physically attracted to this girl. She half blames Octavia for this, as if it weren’t for her roommate, Clarke would have never known the mystery girl from the alley to be a model, which would have then not lead to her and Raven stalking her instagram for hours on end. Something, which they still did, quite frequently, shamelessly, too.

Before she could rationalize, Lexa snapped her eyes away from Clarke, now staring at something in a completely different direction. She couldn’t help wonder if the model had ever been in a similar situation before – seeing someone she knew, or had met, in one of these classes. Shaking the thoughts from her eyes, Clarke chanced a look at the rest of her body, a decision she immediately regret, as she could feel the heat from her face now settle towards her lower abs. She visibly gulped, willing her eyes back up to focus on green. Her eyes fluttered over prominent hipbones; defined abs; detailed tattoo's covering the expanse of the models back, arms, hips; the perfect swell of her breasts...

 _‘Focus on her eyes, Clarke. Eyes are easy; you’ve drawn hundreds of eyes.’_ She repeated this to herself a few times before channeling her energy onto the paper in front of her.

After the hour was up, Kane asked for everybody to leave their work on their assigned easel, which he would collect before his next class. The students began packing up their belongings and making their way out of the studio and separating into the halls. Clarke, now finally cool and collected decided it would be best to keep her eyes averted anywhere but towards the model as she made one swift exit from the studio, not before signing the corner of her piece – her strategy: to not embarrass herself any further, as she was sure Lexa, and pretty much the entire class could have seen how flustered she had become at the start of the class.

“Fuck” Clarke grumbled, realizing she had forgotten her phone, yet again. Something she managed to do every Thursday morning.

As she rounded the corner, entering the class, she stopped in the frame. Wondering if she could live without her phone for a few hours, or days, or even till next Thursday if it meant she could avoid the interaction, which could possibly ensue. Walking around, now back in her robe was Lexa, eyeing and examining the students works – seeing herself through their perspective. Clarke remained in the door frame, content in watching how her expression changed with each piece of art – how she seemed perplexed at certain pieces (the abstract pieces Clarke presumed. It took a certain kind of creative genius to understand those styles), how her expressions changed from nonchalance to intrigue, and finally, as she reached Clarke’s easel, vulnerable.

The brunette lingered at the easel for a moment, a finger hovering over the color carefully displayed on its canvas. Clarke thought now was the best time to grab her phone and make a quick escape – maybe Lexa wouldn’t even see her, as she was completely and utterly encased within her thoughts at that moment.

But she was wrong.

Before Clarke could reach her phone, the model turned, only slightly, to face Clarke, a quizzical expression painted across her perfect features. “My eyes, why did you draw them?” The vulnerable expression Clarke had seen earlier had now been replaced with an emotionless expression.

“We were asked to find a focus point – “ She was soon cut off amidst explaining the task.

“I know that, I was in the room.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow in question, not quite sure she understood her question.

“There are about two portraits of my collarbones, one of my hands, six of my ass, five of my tattoos, and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen my boobs. But you were the only person to draw my eyes” Clarke watched as Lexa motioned towards the canvasses scattered across the studios, her deep green eyes searching for answers, searching for something, anything.

She wracked her brain for some sort of answer, any answer really. Anything other than having to explain the flash of heat, which consumed her body as soon as the robe was discarded. Or the fact that those specific green eyes held so much mystery, so much depth, that not even Clarke could paint her blood sweat and tears onto paper to represent even a slither of that. “Your eyes are green, and I wanted to work with color today?” Her answer came across as more as a question.

Her response only flared a smirk to spread across the models plump lips, lips which Clarke’s eyes flickered down to momentarily. “Do you not find my body appealing, Clarke?”

Blue eyes widened at the forward advance, she was not prepared for this. She was not prepared for Lexa. Her first thought was to ask how the girl knew her name, before remembering bumping into her at the bar the night before – tainting her approach to disregard her question with a question of her own. Her second was to just grab her phone and run for the door. Her third, she had absolutely no control over.

“W-what? No… I, um…” She stammered, mentally kicking herself for acting like a teenage boy meeting his crush for the first time. She stood a little taller, remembering that she was Clarke Griffin, a well educated, well cultured, but above all, sexy as hell young woman.

“Your eyes are appealing, Lexa. We were told we could focus on intimacy; your eyes are intimate, not just physically, but emotionally. Why focus on your nudity? Anyone could sketch your ass, and they’d have fun doing it. But I’m not here for fun, I’m here for meaning – I don’t want to waste my time drawing something for the sake of drawing”

A smug smile pulled at the corner of Clarke’s lips – proud that she had managed to get it all out without stammering again, and also proud that now it was Lexa who was rendered with nothing to say.

Clarke decided she should probably quit while she’s ahead, before the model could counter with something snarky or sassy. She grabbed her phone and walked casually from the studio – her heart pounding in her chest at her tiny win.

* * *

“So she was like naked? Like fully naked? Like you could see all her lady lovin’ parts naked? Like you could see her – “

Before Raven could finish her little rant, Octavia placed her hand over Raven’s now mumbling lips. “Enough. I forbid you from talking about girls until you confess”

Raven gave an exasperated roll of her eyes before holding up her hands in mock surrender, looking back to Clarke, who had instigated the entire thing.

“Yeah, she was all out there” Clarke clarified, motioning with her hands. “For the whole class to see”

Octavia’s brow furrowed in thought. “Yeah but all the models are always naked. Or is it different because you’ve met her?”

Before Clarke could even respond, Raven decided to interject, yet again. “Or is it because what Clarke really wanted to do was jump her in the middle of the-“ But before she could finish, her mumbling lips were met with Octavia’s hand once again.

“It was just super weird okay” Clarke finally clarified. “I’ve never seen someone I’ve met full frontal naked before, not unless its been in bed”

Sometime amidst their conversation, the shower had stopped running, and Lincoln was now leaning against the doorframe of the living room, dressed in boxers and a towel hanging off his shoulders. “Seen who naked?” He asked, now extremely interested in the girls’ topic of discussion.

“Your sexy bestie Lexi” Raven chimed.

Octavia held up her hand, threatening to silence Raven if she continued, which she didn’t.

Her statement, however, harnessed an amused chuckle from Lincoln. “She’s not my bestie, she’s my sisters best friend.” He took a seat beside Octavia on the sofa.

“Anya?” Clarke asked. They had all met Anya about a year ago as Lincoln had brought her up to their apartment. She was a nice enough girl, a little hostile at first, but quick to warm up to. She had accumulated quite nicely into their friend group. The dynamic between her and Octavia had been a little strained to start out with, but soon softened. With Anya being not only Lincoln's sister, but also his twin, having to share him for the fist time in her life was a little hard to adjust to. 

More questions.

“But if she’s Anya’s best friend, then why haven’t we already met her?” Clarke asked, now intrigued as ever.

Lincoln gave a solemn smile towards the blonde. “That’s not my story to tell”

Such an ominous answer only left Clarke reeling for answers. She was a sucker for mystery, needing to find answers and meaning in everything. Lexa had become her new favorite mystery, even if the girl hadn’t realized it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little hint for future chapters: So Lexa is gonna be like an onion - many, many layers. What happens to people who peel away the layers? They cry. 
> 
> BUUT, all fun stuff too. Raven and Octavia's dynamic will lighten the mood guys. 
> 
> I hope you're liking it so far, the next chapters will be a lot longer too.


	3. Tequila Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is reigning tequila queen, Raven is drunk af, Octavia is nowhere to be found, and Lexa finds Clarke in her room. With an added bonus of: Lexa thinks Clarke peed in her closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA: The Party: Part One.
> 
> Update: Minor editing has been done, thanks to alexofmacedonia who kindly pointed out a mistake I had made with wording.

“I’m so freakin excited!!” Octavia practically squealed to no one as she started to dance around the girls’ apartment. The reason for such excitement was Lincoln’s birthday – the actual big day was three days away, and much to Octavia’s despair, unfortunately fell on a Tuesday. Her solution to this problem was to throw a party on the Saturday beforehand. She wanted the party to go as smoothly as possible, and in order to that, she steered clear of her roommates help, as they would provide anything but help in the process. They had all planned to throw parties in the past, and each time they had been a dismal failure – Octavia blames Raven’s spontaneity and terrible organization skills, Raven blames Clarke’s obsessive compulsive planning, and Clarke blames Octavia’s need for insatiable perfection. Thus making them the worst party planning team of the century.

Instead, Octavia had recruited Lexa – Anya’s best friend and also roommate. Despite her own two roommates, Octavia hadn’t forgotten that Lincoln was actually a twin, and had decided it would be nice of her to throw a party for the both of them. Also having ulterior motives, which included binding their friendship groups; being the social butterfly that she was. To her shock, Lexa wasn’t completely against the idea, and from what she can remember from school, cheer camps, and parties, and lastly, after-game celebrations – Lexa was the total party girl. Who better to help organize Anya and Lincoln’s twenty-third birthday party? And who’s apartment better to hold it at?

With both of them working on the event, it meant Octavia spending a lot of time at Lexa’s apartment, and Lexa spending a lot of time at the girls’ apartment – much to Clarke’s appreciation. At first, she was a little flabbergasted. The first incident included Clarke waking up for her morning class – messy bed hair in tow, un-brushed teeth and unwashed face, embarrassingly cute pajamas, and upon seeing Lexa sat with Octavia on the couch – a vibrant blush. Needless to say, after about two weeks or so she had began expecting Lexa to be there, which, in turn, gave her ample opportunity to prepare for these ‘accidental’ run-in’s during their party planning.

Both girls had completely disregarded the naked arts class debacle, and had dismissively turned to small talk instead to begin with. After a while, Lexa had stayed to hang out with Clarke once Octavia had left her for a string of clients for the evening. This happened multiple times a week. Though neither girl had fought up the courage to ask if the other wanted to hang out for reasons other than planning the party. Baby steps.

 

* * *

 

 

It was now roughly an hour till the big event – both groups had decided to pre game at Anya’s, as that’s where all the alcohol had been brought to in prep for the party. The pre-gaming had been Octavia’s idea, as a way of breaking the ice between the two groups, consisting of: herself, Clarke, Raven, her brother – Bellamy, and his friends Jasper and Monty. Lexa and Anya were the hostess’, including their friends Echo, Tris, and her boyfriend Nyko, and another guy named John, who had specifically requested he be called Murphy.

Jasper had been making heart eyes at Echo since they had arrived, with everyone laughing and making jokes at the poor guys expense. Echo had met Lexa and Anya through a modeling agency, and was therefor a model, and was therefor way out of Jasper’s league, in their opinion. But that did nothing to quell his thirst for the girl, which would inevitably make for an interesting, and hilarious turn of events.

After downing two shots each, everyone had dispersed from the dining area where the alcohol had been set up, the music was now in full swing, deep house vibrating throughout the spacey apartment – with Lexa and Anya both being models they were able to afford a much nicer apartment than the trio. And it wasn’t before long that the party was now in full swing.

The apartment had gotten quite hot quite quickly; with the mass of people drunkenly filling the rooms, the vast amount of body heat soon turned the expanse into a sauna.

Raven and Clarke had succumbed to doing more shots, alone, in the kitchen. As Raven so ruefully suggested they don’t share their tequila with people they didn’t know. They had both taken seats at the kitchen island, two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila at their expense.

“I would share it with the hot one though” Raven blurted out as she clinked glasses with the blonde before they both downed yet another shot.

Clarke all but rolled her eyes, assuming she was talking about Lexa, making a disgusted face as the fiery liquid stormed through her throat. “She has a name you know”

“Yeah” She nodded in agreement, a tad over-dramatic “Her name is cheekbones!” That clarification escaped her lips just a little too loud for Clarke’s liking.

The blonde was trying amicably hard to hide the feeling of jealousy mixing with the alcoholic concoction settling at the pit of her stomach. She was past denying her physical attraction to Lexa had turned into a crush the past two weeks. It was an inevitable fate, Clarke had explained to herself. What was a girl to do after spending practically every other day with her for the past two weeks? Not just any girl, but a model, a nude model at that; a nude model who had in actual fact, turned out to be one of the nicest, yet mysterious women she had ever met. She was crushing on Lexa, physically, but crushing none the less.

“Okay, chill. I’m not talking about your girlfriend, Princess” Raven said in a mock offended tone, her hand coming up as if to accentuate her clarification. “I’m talking about muscle man’s equally hot twin”. She stated absentmindedly as she had already began pouring their next shots.

Clarke couldn’t deny the serene feelings of relief quell her jealousy at that, but as soon as it settled, it was replaced with a fiery burn of intrigue.

“Anya?”

“That’s the one!”

“You know it’s completely okay if you like her…” Clarke tried to pry a confession from Raven, thinking it would be easy in her drunken state of mind.

The brunette’s eyes narrowed as she glared at Clarke knowingly. Both her roommates had been trying for years to get a confession from Raven, and she had done her upmost to withhold – even whilst she was intoxicated to extreme levels. Something she was extremely proud of. Before she had the chance to respond, Clarke continued to pry.

“And its totally fine if you’re into gi—“

Before she could finish her sentence, Raven had pushed a shot glass to her lips in order to silence her.

“Stop talking, more drinking.” And with that, the brunette downed her shot and proceeded to leave a now slightly-more-than-tipsy Clarke as she disappeared into the dancing mass of bodies in the living room, not before yelling “TEQUILA QUEEN” in Clarke’s direction, garnering her an applause from the people hovering around the kitchen.

Before long, Clarke had reasoned she should probably go be social: she hopped off the island stool and immediately regret her swift movement, as it now felt as though the room had moved and wouldn’t stop. She somewhat stumbled through the mass of bodies in an attempt to find Raven, which turned out to be a waste of time, as the girl was nowhere to be found. She then decided to go find Octavia, but then remembered it was in fact Lincoln’s party, and ultimately decided that would also be a waste of time as they’d both be joined at the hip for the whole thing, and she wasn’t about to third wheel it the entire night.

About three minutes into her solo search party for her friends, she decided peeing would be a great idea, as it felt as though she had drank enough tequila to stock a small dive bar. Tired of searching, in general, she walked into the first door she came across without knocking, and was surprised to find that she hadn’t magically discovered the bathroom first try.

“Not the bathroom” She declared at no one, drunkenly pointing at nothing in the process. “But there is a bed” Her face lit up with the promise of comfort and solace away from the bustling bodies and sweaty heat outside of the cool confines of the bedroom.

Without even considering who’s bedroom it was, she walked up to the bed and fell onto it, smiling as she nuzzled her head into the plush pillows as her gaze lingered at nothing in particular on the white ceiling.

The sound of the bedroom door clicking open was ignored as Clarke was now mesmerized by her hands above her face, completely and utterly lost in her own world for the time being.

“Clarke?”

The sound of her name being called, however, soon anchored her for her imagination back into the realms of the living. Her eyes slowly etched away from her hands and onto the figure now standing at the door. A lazy grin now forming on her pink lips as she saw it was Lexa. Her hair was tamed into loose waves, perfectly accentuating her hair, her full plump lips were now a deeper shade of red, as perfectly flicked eyeliner outlined deep green eyes; she was dressed in tight black tailored shorts, and a burgundy cami. She was not sober enough to control her lingering stare as she slowly sat up on the bed.

“You’re staring” The brunette stated as she stepped into her room, closing the door behind her.

“I am not” Her tone was serious, at least she intended it to be.

Lexa simply nodded, a smug smirk now fixed on her lips – Clarke’s staring only feeding her ego and already high confidence. She decided to dismiss it, anyway. “What are you doing in here? I assumed the resident Tequila Queen would be doing body shots by now”

Clarke’s eyes widened slightly as a blush faintly painted her pale complexion at the realization Lexa heard Raven moments ago. “I was looking for the bathroom”

“This isn’t the bathroom…” This time it was Lexa who widened her eyes, but in despair, as being a heavy party girl during her teenage years knew peeing in a closet was a last resort option if you could not locate the bathroom in time. “…You didn’t pee in my closet, did you?”

The blonde groaned and fell back onto the bed dramatically. “No?! I’m not Raven; how drunk do you think I am?”

The answer did nothing to quell her worries about finding pee in her closet the morning after. “Where is Raven?”

“I have no idea, probably off trying to get Anya drunk somewhere, probably in her room, the girl works fast” She mumbled, speaking her thoughts before filtering them through her mouth. “Wait… this isn’t her room, is it?” She spoke a little clearer.

Lexa furrowed her brow, her lips pouted in thought at what had been said, but she figured there would be no point in questioning the drunken girl, as she clearly wasn’t going to get any resemblance of a straight answer. “No, it’s my room, Clarke” Her lips formed into a small smile at the blonde as she now sat up rather quickly, visibly trying to focus her vision.

"Will you come sit please?” She asked, patting the bed beside her. “You’re spinning… no, I’m spinning”

A soft laugh escaped the brunette’s lips as she walked over and sat beside Clarke on her bed. “The room is spinning, you mean?”

“Yes, the room is spinning. Can’t you see it?”

Lexa shook her head.

“Then you’re not drunk enough, and by the Tequila Queen’s request, I order you go drink tequila” Clarke mustered her most serious voice, and expression, in her drunken state, only to get a small laugh from Lexa in response. Not that she was complaining, it was a lovely sound.

“I’m not drinking. I don’t drink”

Clarke narrowed her eyes in an interrogative way. “Liar. Ive heard about after-game parties, Ive heard about you out-drinking everyone” Thanks to Octavia's ramblings about school, cheer camps, and Party Lexa all in favour of reigning Clarke in on the Anya-Lincoln party train; Clarke was now semi-aware of how much partying Lexa partook in during her adolescent years. 

“Anymore” Was all that Lexa said, not willing to explain, not just yet.

“Why?” The blonde had adapted an expression somewhat resembling shock, disbelief, and bewilderment. As if someone could not drink, or not want to drink.

Lexa’s previous relaxed demeanor had now disappeared, as her walls began building back up of their own accord, a sharp sigh emitting her now pursed lips. “That is a story you are not ready to hear”

“Nope, I’m ready” Clarke was clearly unrelenting in her drunken state. Sober Clarke would have seen her swift change in demeanor and backed off in that exact moment. Drunk Clarke on the other hand, had absolutely no inhibition.

“Well, then it is a story I am not yet willing to tell”

The blonde dramatically sighed, completely oblivious to Lexa’s now stoic seriousness. “Well, whenever you are, come tell me”.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, with Clarke now standing and walking around the room, her eyes filled with such curiosity and intrigue as she examined the models bedroom. It was nothing extravagant – there was a large double bed, a desk with a laptop and a clutter of magazines (some fashion, some art), a bookshelf – much to Clarke’s surprise, and a small walk-in closet – not to Clarke’s surprise. Lexa watched carefully as Clarke examined the inner workings of her mind and soul – her bedroom. Her room was a sacred place and she reasoned with herself that the only reason she had let the blonde stay, was simply due to the fact that she was drunk, and would not remember this in the morning.

Clarke started scanning the bookshelf, running her fingers along the spines absentmindedly. “Have you read all of them?” She didn’t turn to face the girl still sat on the bed for her answer.

“I have. I’m not just a pretty face, Clarke” Her voice was seeping with such pride, and such determination, as if she were fending off a lifetime worth of compliments. Compliments due to her beauty and not her brain, her personality, her soul.

“I know, I was just wondering if you knew that, too” She stated matter-of-factly. Not realizing how deep her words just cut.

As Lexa parted her lips to reply, their moment was interrupted by a burst of drunken giggling and two bodies colliding through the door, the thumping bass off the sound system now seeping its way into the quite, solemn confines of the models room.

“Whoa, this is so not my room”

“Anya?” Lexa asked, clearly perplexed.

“Hey, its Sexy Lexi!” Raven interjected, using her hand which was currently holding Anya’s to point at Lexa.

Before anyone could react or question what had just happen, Anya yanked Raven out of her friends’ room and into her own next door. Still visibly perplexed, Lexa turned to Clarke for some sort of explanation.

The blonde simply shrugged, feigning nonchalance at this new revelation. “See? What did I say?” Her voice laced with an ‘I told you so’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! It was really fun to write, and as I have a lot of downtime recently (perks of working for yourself, kinda) I'll probably have the second part of this chapter posted before Sunday! If you have anything you wanna say, about like anything, just let me know!


	4. Clean Up Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AKA: The Party Part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gettin' hot in heree. Kinda. Bare with me.

“Gotcha!” Octavia bursts into Lexa’s room roughly five minutes after Anya and Raven had, her smoldering brown eyes accusatory albeit a little glossy due to her intoxication.

Clarke and Lexa both whip their heads up at the bustling sound, confused and distraught, wondering what it was she had expected to find. A small, but clearly annoyed sigh escaped Lexa’s now pursed lips – clearly aggravated due to the onslaught of unannounced visits to her room in just a few minutes.

“Hold up, Raven did just come in here with Anya, right?...” The brunette asked, now seemingly confused, second guessing her own state of intoxication.

A smirk eagerly made its way across Clarke’s pink lips, eyeing Octavia knowingly as the brunette then mirrored her expression in understanding.

“Anya dragged her in there” She said animatedly, drunkenly pointing at the far wall of the model’s bedroom, which connected with Anya’s.

“I KNEW IT” Octavia exclaimed, a grin now plastered across her plump lips as she jumped into the air and dramatically fist-pumped. “C’mon, I’m sick of trying to get her to confess, let’s catch her in the act… Literally” Her voice was suggestive as she arched a brow.

Lexa stayed seated on the bed, being the only sober one there this entire escapade was exhausting as she slowly pieced together what was unraveling before her. She now had a vague idea, but needed clarification before jumping to conclusions.

“You want to walk in on Raven and Anya? Because I’m pretty sure if you walk in there you won’t be able to un-see what you’ll most probably see” She visibly cringed, having walked in on Anya many times before with men, and women, she was pretty sure all the bleach in the world wasn’t enough to cleanse her eyes, as well as the vivid imagery it had scarred her with.

Octavia stepped into the room completely before closing the door, now blocking the sound of the music thumping from the main room of the apartment, completely oblivious to Lexa’s slight annoyance. “But it’ll totally be worth it. I’ve been trying for years!”

Clarke jumps up off the bed enthusiastically running towards the far wall, pressing her ear against it in an attempt to audibly catch Raven in the act.

Lexa ignores this and goes back to questioning Octavia, who, in all honesty, seems a little more coherent than Clarke. “Years? Anya and Raven have only just met, I’m pretty sure they didn’t talk during school, Octavia”

“What? They didn’t, it was all very cliquey, I barely even talked to you and we were on the same squad for a year” She trailed off, her brow scrunching as she attempted to figure out what Lexa was asking.

“Because I was varsity for four years straight, and you made the squad during your freshman year while I was a senior…” She said matter-of-factly, as if it were worldly knowledge that freshman didn’t interact with seniors out of practice.

“We’re not getting into this.” She continued, realizing she too was rearing off track. “Explain” She gestured towards Clarke who was still pressed against the wall, seeming completely oblivious to the two girls in the room.

“Right. So we’ve known Raven’s into girls for years, but she’s never admitted it, and now’s the perfect time to—“

Before Octavia could finish her explanation, Lexa had managed to piece everything together.

“No.” Her voice was cool, cold, and an octave higher than usual, laced with displease.

The blonde had been torn away form her drunken investigation at the shift in Lexa’s tone, now facing them both as she walked back over to the bed with pleading eyes.

“But whyyy?” She drawled out.

It seemed physically exhausting for Lexa in her attempt to not roll her eyes at their drunken, and seemingly innocent yet careless game of ‘Let’s Out Raven’.

“Because, as a lesbian, I know I wouldn’t have liked my two best friends to ‘out’ me in the most embarrassing way possible. She clearly isn’t comfortable with talking about it yet if she hasn’t, and you’ll only make it worse if you walk in there and shame her for it”

Blue eyes zoned in on the brunette, and she couldn’t quite control the onslaught of word vomit which was about to project from her tequila-tinged lips.

“You’re gay?”

Octavia’s eyes widened at Clarke’s forwardness as she blindly reached for the door handle behind her, beginning to step out backwards. She was not prepared to witness whatever was soon to unfold.

“And that is my cue to leave, I’ll just go find Lincoln now” She then disappeared out of the room, not before Lexa could yell out a warning to leave Raven alone.

Green eyes soon met blue, and the brunette’s expression now appeared slightly vulnerable, as her resting bitch face faltered along with the words that slipped from her lips.

“I am, does it bother you?” Lexa wasn’t one to fear judgment, how could she? She posed nude in front of classes of students, and galleries of people on a daily basis. Although, it hadn’t always been that way. Despite her past, she had built a stoic facade in regards to her self-consciousness, which had soon become part of her; as the facade slipped away and merged into truth. She now prided herself on her confidence. Regardless, she couldn’t deny she was a little hesitant for Clarke’s reply – she had bonded so well with the artist in just the short span of weeks they had spent together, and was wishing her to be okay with this sudden revelation.

“Relax” The blonde breathed, her voice low and reassuring as she took a seat on the bed, her knees knocking into the brunette as she sat so close. “I’m gay too, you know. I just like boys too” She suddenly felt a sense of accomplishment, as one of the many mysteries of the model had been unveiled.

Clarke had questioned Lexa’s sexuality more than once over the past few weeks, but she had never perked up the courage to ask her about it, not wanting to be too forward, or possibly scare her away with such an outward interrogation. But now, thanks to Anya and Raven’s sexcapades in the room next door, she was able to find an answer to one of her many questions without even having to ask. _Fate._ She reasoned it was fate.

Lexa visibly relaxed at Clarke’s admission. “Good” Her response was simple, yet effective, leaving Clarke with a dopey grin.

“I should have guessed that you were a lesbian anyway” She offhandedly joked. “I could practically sense the Sapphic vibes like coming out of your broody self - All tall dark and mysterious. And I’ve never seen you wear a skirt”

The model couldn’t help but laugh at her sudden playfulness, breaking eye contact as she laughed. “I haven’t found an occasion to wear a skirt yet, not while you’ve seen me, anyway”

“Well you should, you have amazing legs”

Lexa looked up from her laughing, blue eyes now tracing the length of her bare legs – she suddenly felt exposed under Clarke’s smoldering gaze as the blonde knew exactly what was hidden beneath her clothes, her mind no doubt wandering back to the art studio weeks ago. 

“You’re staring, again.” Her voice escaped a little lower in tone, and much huskier than she had anticipated, as she tried to conceal the flush she felt masking her face at the thought. 

“Oh, I know” Clarke boldly admitted, taking a little longer than necessary to pull her eyes away from beautifully tan skin to meet with deep green.

This entire situation was making Lexa feel a little flushed: the sexuality admittance; Clarke’s alcohol induced boldness; the way her body ached to be touched due to being looked at, like _that_ ; the way her head was clouded and consumed with thoughts of blonde hair and blue eyes; the way a small part of her told her to run, told her to protect herself. But the aching, the sensuous aching was all consuming above all– her lips now tingled in anticipation as she subconsciously edged forward, Clarke doing the same, as if they were induced in magnetism – their actions involuntary, instinctual.

The thumping bass of the music was a blur in their lust, the party being forgotten as Lexa’s senses were now hyper-aware of all things Clarke – she could hear the blonde audibly gulp as it echoed through her ears the closer they got, she could smell the sweet scent of tequila on her breath, breath which was now invading her own as they began mingling. She could feel the baby hairs on the back of her neck stand as Clarke placed a hand there, slowly pulling her even closer, impossibly close. Their lips just barely touching, Clarke exhaled a shaky breath – the warm air was intoxicating as it seeped its way through Lexa’s parted lips, lips which ached to be touched, to be kissed. As the faint taste of tequila settled upon her mouth, she was soon snapped from her Clarke-induced haze. Her voice escaping barely a whisper before they closed the gap.

“Stop”

Clarke pulled back, her eyes dazed and confused as she searched green for some sort of explanation. She dropped her hand from the back of her neck and sat there patiently, respectfully.

“I can’t do this, not yet, not like this” Lexa immediately regret her slightly vulnerable admission, pursing her lips together as if it could somehow suck the words back in. She knew she was losing all revere, and wouldn’t be able to uphold it with Clarke around, not after almost kissing her. She needed to clear her mind.

“Leave.” Her voice was cool, despite her inner voice being a frantic mess. She noticed Clarke had not moved from the bed, their proximity still too close, her eyes still pleading for an explanation.

It was Lexa who stood from the bed first, as she made her way over to the door, her hand resting on the handle as she turned around to look at a now stunned blonde. “Now, Clarke”

The artist made her way out the door, her face emanating confusion, shock, the last traces of lust, and guilt. She had nothing to be guilty for; at least she didn’t think she did. Did she?

* * *

 

It was the morning after the party, the apartment was scattered with red solo cups, crushed food (thank god for floorboards and not carpet), and discarded items of clothing. The only two people left to clear up the mess were the apartment’s owners – Lincoln and Octavia had offered to head back over once they’d slept off their hangovers, but Lexa refused. She was perfectly capable of doing it herself, despite waking Anya and demanding she help. The brunette may have found it amusing to watch her roommate tidy in her hungover state. The clean up crew was in full effect.

“So how’s Raven? She’s a mechanic right, I’m guessing she’d be pretty good with her fingers…” Lexa teased as she bent down to retrieve a stack of cups from behind the sofa, smirking as she waited for Anya’s reaction.

“Pretty good”

Lexa faced Anya, not entirely sure why she was at all taken aback by her sheer honesty, it was totally in character for her to be this forward. “You’re not even going to deny it?”

The other girl shrugged nonchalantly. “There’s no point, we walked into your room, and you knew exactly why we were there” Anya picked up the last of the mess before placing the black bag into the trash in the kitchen, before turning back to her roommate.

“So how’s blondie?” Her voice was laced with insinuation, a brow arched for emphasis.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Her expression deadpanned.

“Oh come on, Lex. She’s hot, you’re hot” She continued to pry.

Lexa rolled her eyes, she knew Anya wasn’t about to give up any time soon. “So?”

“You’re not denying it, that she’s hot?”

“I’m not blind, Anya. I think the whole party saw how hot she is” Her only way of escape, she reasoned, was to retreat to her bedroom. But that was to no avail, as she heard her roommate swiftly follow her.

Anya closed the door once they were both inside the confines of the bedroom. “Yeah, but she didn’t spend most of the night with everyone at the party, she was in here, with you”

A defeated sigh escaped Lexa’s lips, not bothering to hide her annoyance with her roommate, and the situation altogether. “Nothing happened”

“But you wanted it to”

“Anya, stop.” It came out as more of a warning than a request. A warning which Anywa was sure to rebel against.

“No, you stop. What is step one, Lexa?”

The brunette annoyance is replaced with a piercing glare.

“And don’t look at me like that, Lexa. We agreed you’d come back here during your transition, and part of the agreement we all made, meaning you included, and Dr Jaha, was that you have to talk, look what happened before, not talking landed you in rehab, Alexandria; for most of the damn year” Anya was stern, yet caring. She knew everything Lexa had been through the past three years, and she had been there for her during all of it, but she wasn’t about to watch her best friend shut down on her, not again.

“We’ve been playing this game for three years, Lexa. You shut down, stop talking to me, to anyone, you make bad decisions, and then you can’t deal with those decisions, so you act reckless. We’re not in school anymore, you’re not in your drifter college years anymore, and you’re not with _her_ anymore. You promised.”

Lexa visibly flinched at that last part. She had spent most of her healing process trying to forget about _her_ , it was a lengthy process to say the least; but it, she, was the sole reason of her troubled years. She knew Anya was right, she had promised the last time, would actually be the _last_ time; and she was adamant that it would be. She sighed, now deflated as the truth crushed her. Anya noticed her sudden change in demeanor as she took a seat beside her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her best friend in comfort.

“Not every girl is gonna turn out to be like her, not everyone is like Costia”

“I know” She was vulnerable, the only person she’d let down her walls around was Anya – she was now the only person she trusted completely, and she figured she owed it to her to talk, it was part of her recovery agreement. Lexa also knew Anya was stepping out of her comfort zone to put her comfort before her own – she wasn’t the touching type, if you disregard sex and anything leading up to it.

“Then stop backing out whenever you like someone, I’ve watched this happen before, I’m not watching it happen again. Take a risk” She edged, knowing Lexa hadn’t been with anyone since Costia.

“You do realize I’ve only been spending time with her for a few weeks, and most of it has been with Octavia in the room.” Regardless, Lexa knew the blonde endeared her; there was something about her so captivating. She couldn’t deny her physical attraction, anyone would be absolutely crazy to not be physically attracted to Clarke, but that wasn’t enough for Lexa, she yearned for more, for meaning. She wasn’t sure if she’d find that with said blonde, she wasn’t sure if she was even ready to find out.

This time it was Anya to roll her eyes. “Then take it slow?” She deadpanned, as if it were the most obvious choice.

“We almost kissed” The brunette finally relented.

The blonde squeezed her before releasing her death grip. “Almost?”

“She was drunk”

“Yeah, and?” Anya was clearly perplexed.

Lexa knew she’d have to explain to some extent, despite not really wanting to. It took her a moment to mull over the right string of words to use, before finally settling on something simple in the hopes her roommate understood her reasoning. “She wasn’t sober…”

“Oh…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh layers unveiled. Plenty more to come. Got any ideas, suggestions, or questions. Let me know!


	5. Weapons of Mass Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly from Lexa's POV, and a flashback into her mysterious past, also Raven talks about Clarke's fratgirl past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to update! Life got in the way, and by life I mean my horrendous soul-sucking job, which I have just quit. So YAAY for freedom, until I go traveling. I don't abandon stories, so you have my word that I'll complete this, and wont go disappearing until it's done!

It had been roughly a week since the Anya-Lincoln birthday bash. It had been roughly a week since Clarke last spoke to Lexa. She had been extremely drunk, she could admit that; she could also admit she probably shouldn’t have made a move so fast, especially whilst drunk, even more especially while Lexa wasn’t. But she could also admit she was insanely attracted to the model, and the entire damn world knew sexual attraction plus alcohol equals disaster.

A grimace masked her features as her mind replayed the events of the night, embarrassment seeping through her system at the mere thought.

“Fuck” She all but grumbled.

“The fuck are you grumbling about now, Griffin?” Raven complained beside her on the sofa, clearly perplexed about the interruption during her marathon of Dexter on Showtime.

“I’m such a dick”

Raven rolled her eyes. “Well no shit, but what happened to make you come to this sudden realization yourself?”

Clarke sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, mulling over her thoughts for a moment – she hadn’t told either Raven or Octavia about the kiss. Mostly because she was a little ashamed and embarrassed due to the rejection she felt from Lexa literally kicking her out. Clarke Griffin didn’t get rejected, ever, not once in her life. But that wasn’t what was bugging her the most, the fact that the brunette seemed as into it as she did to begin with, then froze over within a matter of seconds is what was bugging her. “I almost kissed Lexa” She clenched her eyes shut, bracing herself for whatever Raven was about to say or do to her in response.

“kay’ so, you’re hot, Sexy Lexy’s hot, you both almost kissed, I don’t see the problem here…”

Clarke exhaled sharply, mentally readying herself for the embarrassment which was about to entail.

“She kicked me out right before it happened, Ray. Like she stood up and opened the door and told me to leave…”

“Well that’s intense. But you need to chill, just for a hot second here.” Raven held her hands up in defense before continuing. “You’ve known this girl for what, three weeks… a month maybe?” Clarke nodded; intrigued to see where this was going. “Okay, so maybe she’s not ready? Maybe you caught her off guard? Or maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t jump into bed with drunk frat girls at parties like you do?” She said half jokingly, trying to ease the tension she could all but feel radiating from her friend beside her.

Clarke jabbed her in the shoulder for the last comment. “I’m not a frat girl!” The brunette simply deadpanned.

“You did keg-stands in college, and out-drank Bellamy, and me”

“Point taken”

“All I’m saying is, she seems like a completely different person than the party-girl Octavia knew in school” Raven gave a half shrug as she shifted to completely face the blonde before continuing. “Do you like her?”

“She’s hot, even you can see that—“

“You’re not kidding, I’ve never seen lips like that on a white gi—“ Clarke proceeded to cut her off by placing her hands over Raven’s now mumbling lips, waiting for her to stop before letting her hand fall. Clarke raised a brow in question at Raven, making sure she wasn’t about to go on a Lexa worshipping tangent.

“As I was saying; she’s hot, so yeah I like her face, her body, but I don’t know her, not really”

“Then get to know her! It’s not rocket science Griff, although it might as well be because you keep coming to me with it!” Raven was right, but as usual Clarke was impatient and thinking through a lust-fogged brain. She couldn’t deny Lexa intrigued her; she was beautiful, mysterious, poetic, and smart – she’s the type of person who doesn’t know they’re beautiful. Except for the fact that she’s a model, and Clarke was pretty sure if she wasn’t aware of her beauty she wouldn’t have the career that she does. A smirk graced her lips as a thought popped into mind.

“Speaking of models… How’s Anya?” Her sky-blue eyes stared intently at Raven, ready and waiting for any sort of give-away. To Clarke’s dismay, Raven’s face stayed completely impassive as she turned her attention back to the tv, turning up the volume as she spoke.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Clarke decided to leave it at that – Raven would tell them when she was ready, and no amount of pushing or prying had gotten them anywhere thus far, so she didn’t see how it would help now.

* * *

 

Lexa was sat at the desk in her room, the lights switched off, blinds closed, and the only light emanating the room came from the vibrant glow of her MacBook – radiating light and casting shadows off her perfectly prominent cheekbones.

Her green eyes stared intently, transpired by the photograph displayed in a window opened on Photoshop – it was something simple, yet so complex all at once. The photograph projected a forest; such deep shades of green scattered across the squared expanse, the yellow beams of sunlight beaming from rustling leaves high up on the trees as the summer wind gently wafted through – a wanderer in the forest, just like Lexa had been earlier in the day.

As she began to lighten and darken different aspects of her art, her mind began to wander, wander back into the depths of her mind, her memories, memories she had tried so hard to shield herself from. But she had let herself free-fall into the dark abyss of her mind, because forgetting is what she did, it’s what came easy to her, and recovery was not an easy process – she wouldn’t let herself forget, wouldn’t let herself become numb, empty, not again, not this time. So she let herself feel, she let herself remember what it was like to be the person behind the camera instead of in front of it.

_“Lexa what are you doing? We literally just finished the shoot” Costia questioned as she began sipping from a bottle of water, eyeing her girlfriend who was still snapping photo’s of her from behind the camera. Lexa zoomed in on the lens, focusing on Costia’s perfect plump lips as a smirk over-casted them._

_“I know, but I can’t help but take pictures of pretty things, and you,” Snap. “Are,” Snap. “Pretty”_

_“Well I’d hope you think I’m pretty, otherwise what would we be doing together? Besides, you do realize our times almost up, we only booked the studio for an hour for you to get this project finished for your photography class…” Before she could finish, Lexa cut her off stepping away from the camera and walking towards her girlfriend, clad in only her underwear – white lingerie, a perfect contrast in comparison to her creamy chocolaty skin._

_“There is more to a relationship than physical attraction, Costia.” She said, hoping the bluntness in her statement was somewhat concealed – she never could get over her niggling feeling that Costia was only with her for superficial reasons only._

_“We also have another fifteen minutes left, I know how much you love being in front of the camera, don’t act like you’re eager to get away from it”_

_Costia flashed a smirk in Lexa’s direction, taking a step forward to place slender hands upon slender hips, effectively pulling the other girl closer. “Why don’t we switch positions for the last fifteen minutes then?” She husked, her fingers delicately dancing across to find the button to Lexa’s jean’s, beginning to unbutton them slowly as her lips now ghosted the shell of her ear. “You be the hot model, and I’ll be the sexy photographer…”_

_Lexa sucked her full bottom lip into her mouth at her girlfriends advances, her eyes fluttering closed at the close contact. “Costia…” She breathed her name, for whatever reason she didn’t know; a warning, a plea? Because she knew where this was headed, this wasn’t the first time they had found themselves in this near exact situation._

_“C’mon, Lexa, let me photograph you, it’ll be hot” Her voice was now barely audible, just a breath of air against the shell of her ear, her teeth tugging gently on the lobe, as her fingers now started to tantalizingly pull down the zipper to her jeans._

_Lexa exhaled in an attempt to breathe out the lust, which was hazing her mind, as well as the familiar irritation soaking the words on the tip of her tongue. “You know I don’t feel comfortable in front of the camera…” Her hands found Costia’s, effectively stopping her from undressing her._

_Costia exhaled sharply against the sensitive skin of Lexa’s neck, pulling back abruptly and dropping her hands in the process. The clear frustration was practically emanating from her. “Fine, Lexa. It’s not like I just spent an hour of my day helping you with your school project”_

_This sort of response would have been a shock, nearly a year ago, when they had first made their relationship official; but now Lexa had grown used to it – she now knew Costia expected something in exchange for whatever it was that she did. Lexa was selfless, where Costia was selfish. She wasn’t stupid, either; she knew there was no changing her girlfriend, and for the good parts, the absolutely amazing times and memories they shared – she didn’t want to change anything, but it was at times like these when she wish she could._

_“I am not apologizing for refusing to do something I’m not comfortable with.” Her voice was short, precise, and clear as she stood her ground. Costia didn’t even attempt to mask the blatant eye-roll._

_“You don’t have to be comfortable, Lex. You just need to **feel** comfortable…” Her words sultry, persuasive, all ambiguity and seduction. _

_“Costia…” Another warning, another plea._

_Costia knew that tone of voice, she knew she now had some backtracking to do. “C’mon Lex, I know you want to…” She closed the gap between them once more, one hand lying idly on her waist, and the other now laced in wavy brown locks, as her finger stroked across a chiseled cheekbone. “All your fears, all your insecurities, all your pain – gone. Just confidence, peace, and light. Just take a ‘ **trip** ’ with me?”_

_Lexa stared into her deep brown eyes, contemplative – it did sound appealing, albeit illegal, immoral, unethical, and for all the wrong reasons…_

She inhaled deep and sharp as her eyes now began to refocus on the screen in front of her, the shades of green now blurring into one as she struggled to focus on anything other than her memories and the weakness. She brought her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose, willing her mind to focus on something else, anything else. She was over the pain, finally – the memories had just left a fading scar, and scar tissue had the tendency to be irritable, reminding you of its very existence.

A vibration from her phone came as a startling savior in her time of need.

 **Clarke Griffin [17:27]:** _hey_

Lexa furrowed her brows as she read the message, so simple, yet so heavy given their last encounter. She hadn’t yet braced herself for her next interaction with the beautiful blonde – she knew she owed her some sort of explanation, but how?

 **Sexy Lexy [17:31]:** _Hello, Clarke._

 **Clarke Griffin [17:32]:** _Can we talk?_

 **Sexy Lexy [17:35]:** _We’re talking now, are we not?_

**Clarke Griffin [17:40]:** _wow, okay…_

Lexa grimaced at Clarke’s reply. She had to fix this, or at least try. She didn’t mean to be hostile, but hostility was created from beneath the walls she had created for herself – where she felt safe, secure. But she had promised Anya, and she was a woman of her word.

 **Sexy Lexy [17:42]:** _I’m sorry_  
**Sexy Lexy [17:42]:** _For being rude just now, and for last week at the party…_

 **Clarke Griffin [17:50]:** _Apology accepted._  
**Clarke Griffin [17:51]:** _But I also wanna apologize for last week at the party_  
**Clarke Griffin [17:52]:** _Can we maybe do this in person? I don’t wanna say the wrong thing over text…_

 **Sexy Lexy [17:55]:** _Okay, sure._

 **Clarke Griffin [17:57]:** _Can I come over?_  
**Clarke Griffin [18:00]:** _I’m coming over, see you in 10._

Lexa’s eyes widened in response to the text, okay, so Clarke was coming over, to apologize? Lexa’s mind was running a thousand miles a minute trying to decipher ways to explain her behavior last week, trying to decipher what this meant.

Anya. She would ask Anya.

As Lexa reached her roommates door, she knocked twice waiting patiently before the adrenaline coursing through her veins got the best of her – pushing the door open before stopping in her tracks, eyes wide, mouth agape.

“Seriously, Anya?!” She scolded, turning to face the doorframe, mostly for her own benefit.

Anya chuckled, mumbling a quick bye to whoever was on the other end of the call, before slipping her hands out from within her pants, a devious smirk plastered across her lips accompanied by a very evident blush, seeping down to her chest. “Calm down, Lexa. It’s not like you’ve never done it before. And you can turn around, my weapons of mass destruction are now no longer confined within—“

Lexa turned around, a mildly disgusted expression cascading her normally impassive features. “Please stop, I already have enough mentally scarring images of you getting yourself off to last me a lifetime. I don’t need a graphic description to go along with the visual.”

“So I’m guessing there was a reason why you came in without knocking?” Anya questioned, re-positioning herself on the bed so that she was now sitting.

“I did knock” Her jaw clenched ever so slightly at how comfortable Anya was in this normally uncomfortable situation. She exhaled deeply as she remembered the reason why she was there to begin with. “Clarke is coming over”

Anya visibly seemed excited at that statement, a knowing smirk now forming her pink lips. “So are you going to let her through the door before you kick her back out of it this time?” Her tone was lined with nothing but humor.

Lexa rolled her eyes so deeply it looked almost painful, giving no verbal response, and deciding not to play along with Anya’s games.

“I’m joking, Lex. Just be yourself, don’t say or explain anything you don’t want to… Why is she coming over?”

“She said she wants to apologise”

Anya nodded, gliding her fingers through her blonde hair in thought. “Okay, so she’s gotta understand that she might have crossed a line last week, even if she didn’t know it at the time. You’ll be fine, she took the first step here, the balls in your court, Lex.”

Lexa remained impassive, seemingly caught up in her head, which Anya caught onto rather quickly. “Lexa” She called softly, regaining the younger girls attention, pulling her from the depths of her own mind. Then waiting for deep green eyes to re-focus before continuing. “Don’t overthink it, take it easy. I know you’re a sucker for pretty girls, don’t be blinded by her pretty face, she seems smart, you’re smart – go be smart together.”

Lexa couldn’t help but smirk slightly at that. Nobody knew her better than Anya did, in fact, there was no one she was completely herself around other than Anya – no one knew what secrets she held behind her stoic façade, no one had found a way to scale and climb the walls she had spent hears building to hide behind, no one but Anya.

Before she had the chance to say another word, the sound of the doorbell ringing echoed through the spacious apartment. Anya flashed an encouraging wink at her direction before she sauntered over to the door, completely and utterly calm now thanks to her not-so talk with Anya. As she opened the door she was greeted with a flash of blonde hair, dancing smoothly in the summer breeze, and a pair of warm blue eyes smiling up at her.


End file.
